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| - do u realize - - - todays topic : >>
I SPILL ALL
well i have so much on my mind i dont know were to start.. hmm... and btw i am not writing this so anyone can see and think i want them to feel sorry for me i dont. im just writing this because i need to spill whats on my mind.. it doesnt matter its not like anyone will really give a fuck whats on my mind anyway... so here goes.. things with my dad are ehh shakey we used to be really close when i was younger but now its just weird i really miss him and everytime i go home i get sad and cry because i miss him soo much SO I GUESS this whole parents thing suxx for me anyway and they live soo far apart and they dont even talk..i hate the place i live every time i get out of school and go home i get soo excited until i remember everything just hits me like a fucking rock! i hate the way everyone pretends they have no fucking clue who you are when they just walk right by u after u have known them for years i hate the way people talk shit about u like if they know who u are . i hate the way people neglect you and leave u like ur sum little peice of shit with no feelings i hate it when people try and pick fights with u or when they spread rummers the way people give u mean looks when all u want is to make a new friend i hate when u cant go outside without a fucking married fuck with kids and all tries to give u a honk or pick up on u when they are like 100 years old i hate the way i have noone to depend on the way all my "good" friends have let me down the way i dont really talk to my first love (who i still love).. the way we never hang out and talk rarly and i hate the way my "best:"friend has been the way we cant even talk or anything the way he doesnt realize i am in love with him,. he doesnt understand that i want to be with him and just hug him forever. i hate it when all guys want is one thing they cant just be normal i hate the fact i have a lota little friends but noone i can really talk to. i hate all these little groups and stuff why can i just be snugled in there why do i have to be the one left out why do i have to live like this... i fucking know there is soo many worse things then what i am writing about but this is what i have been keeping insdide me for a long time ( plus a lot more) and i have to write in this thing because i have NOONE who understands me ..... noone who will just be there for me everyone is too bizzie to take a while and look back..... to bizzie with there own lives but b4 they know it life will pass them by .. these little high school days dont mean shit ... now.................... years from these days.. you'll remember that one really hot girl that everyone wantd to be ... the hot guy everyone wants to date.. the nerd the guy u rejected all the way to ur last F u stressed about... it means nuthing right? wrong..... i wodner when the day will come when i look back and remember this... ... ... i dont really know but people always think ill here for them.. like everthing is ok.... people always look at me and think everything ok i guess i have a good way with hiding my feelings but before they know it... things will slowl;y change.... and they wont even realize it..... life is passing us all by..... i just hope i will pass this soon..and people stop and take a look at what they have........ before the door slams................ shut | | |
|  todays topic>
 why is it everyone has sum1 xcept me?
well my question is that... man o man,,, it seems as if everyone has sum one to cuddle with and hug and kiss and hang out with.. and it really sux.. i mean serioudly i havet had any action sence september!!! pretty lame if u ask me.. i mean im happy for all my friends with bf's and gf's but i just want sumone too..... i dunno.. like and everyone i seem interested in.. things turn out wayy wrong was it those dan chain letters that i never fowareded that said bad love luck for 1000 years.. ir eally dont know.. but right now i am listening to phantom planet.. i <3 them.. ok well enough sorroness... so i am writing in these awfull colors (not ugly just dont look nice together( because i needed a break from all the pink i still <3 it but... i think i use it too much as i have been told!.. so today is a lame day and its only 11:48 am... just stared.. well im going to make my BIG comback on skating today... i havent skated sence summer boy o boy.. long tim.. i better not fall on my ass!. hopfully ill meet sum new buddys sence i dont know anyone around here <northridge> im at my dads house.. and its a wonderfull day i mite go in the pool.. man xanga premium is wayy cool  hee hee.. well i better get a go on... my day.. and try to get my mind off the fact that single sux!!! 
:from the mind of:  SUZIE .. hey just cuz i wrote in orange doesnt mean i disses my color! hehe tA-TA | | |
| me and my little sis! FRANcia | | |
| omg guys im soooo sleepy so im going to make this fast... well today was sopossed to be really fun and cool but things went all wrong but whatever they turned out good because me vanessa jimmy melissa and his little bro went out and so many places we ended up at chucke cheese lol it was cool taking all those pix 4 25 cents lol and that hot guy who was not so hot ehhh LOL hahah hehe so ya i cannnt wait to get my licence lucky vanessa!
oh and i went to b'js it was cool but i feel sooo sick now and like a head ace.. ehh lame .. but i am going to go now im not in the moodd :wtf"
a not so bowling wendsday.... | | |
| hey hey hey all well im here at melissas house ya know same old same ol well like ya i didnt go back with my mUm at work after the ortho and those bastards did not! i repeat did not do the bottom braces mann pisses me off well whateva.. its fun here sence i havent been here in a while and shes going to go with me to my dance class so yay/// and this thing is lame because we do not know how to put a pic on here arrr :mad: soo ya ill talk to YAL latter xoxoxo 
~another day in the mind of~ *SUZIE* | | |
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